I knew you'd
stalk me eventually.
Since you're already digging through my life, let's make it quick. Here is my career story, my coffee stats, and a list of things I complain about on a daily basis.
[Image Alt]: A photo of me trying to look busy. Actually, I was probably ordering tacos.
I got into building web applications because I realized it was the only job where sitting in a dark room drinking black coffee at 2 AM was considered "highly productive" instead of "a call for help."
Over the years, I've worked with startups, agencies, and e-commerce brands who wanted to rank higher on search engines and improve their code. My philosophy is simple: write clean code, keep the layout fast, and never waste time on unnecessary sync meetings.
If you came here looking for standard corporate jargon like "growth hacking" or "paradigm shifting," you've made a terrible mistake. I build stuff that compiles, ranks, and works. That is all.
Things I claim to be good at
Feel free to throw these cards around. They are physics-enabled, unlike my joints.
Google Algorithm Guesswork
"I speak fluent crawler spider."
Caffeine-to-Code Conversion
"Highly efficient metabolism."
Tolerating Morning Stand-ups
"Immediate cognitive decline occurs."
Finding 2014 StackOverflow Posts
"Ancient documentation archaeologist."
Overthinking Simple Email Replies
""Thanks!" or "Thanks."? Absolute crisis."
Details you didn't ask for
Favorite Failure
Once spent three hours debugging a production script only to realize I was editing the wrong file. On the wrong server. For the wrong client.
Pet Peeve
People who use LinkedIn to write motivational posts about what they learned from buying a croissant at a local bakery.
Dietary Routine
Powered 90% by hot filter coffee and 10% by pure spite towards bloated Javascript bundles.
Ideal Meeting Duration
Exactly 0 minutes. If it cannot be resolved in a text document, it cannot be resolved.
Done stalkin'?
If you aren't thoroughly disgusted, click the button below. Let's build something fast and funny.